Dr. Science vs. a mob of frenzied, screaming six year-olds

For a minute, I thought they were going to kill me.

A fellow student here at NYU asked me to pay a visit to the career day going on at the middleschool where she volunteers. "They've seen a rabbi, and a daycare worker, and an ombudsman, and it'd be great to get someone to interest them in science. They don't get much of that." I agreed, only then to learn that by "middleschool" she meant "a group of 18 six year-olds." I quickly donned my light-up science belt.

They were bouncing off the walls when I got there, and my plans for trying to teach science quickly turned into just trying to get them to think that science was cool. I showed them some pictures of what normal objects look like at high magnification, and (with remarkable resonance with my audience) related what I do to what Pokemon scientist and cartoon character Prof. Oak does. Next I showed them this substance you can make out of cornstarch and water and green food coloring that doesn't appear to follow Newton's third law of motion (it's a liquid that turns solid when you touch it, then back to a liquid), and that quickly turned into my being quite literally mauled and/or bum rushed by small children. Suddenly, everything was covered with the green stuff, including myself, the floor, and the kids.

We washed up, I made a play-doh and tissue paper volcano erupt, and then answered some more questions about being a scientist. The questions included "will we ever see you again?" and "can we see your belt again?" This was a nice break from their previous question, "what is it?!", screamed almost constantly whenever they saw something they were interested in.

Me: So you, this subs-
Them:WHAT IS IT?
ME: Well, it's -
Them: WHAT IS IT?
Me: Hang on, I'l tell -
Them: WHAT IS IT?
Me: It's cornstarch and-
Them: WHAT IS IT?

Ugh. Children'd!