the name is a swear word.

MotherF*cker is one of NYC's biggest dance parties. Held every sunday evening of a three-day weekend, it has been brought to my attention on a number of occasions by a great many different people as something I had to try. I was jonesing for something like the Bang at the Blind Pig in Ann Arbor, so I had high hopes going in.

Stepping into Mf'r was like stepping into the NYC you only see in movies. The NYC where all the pretty scene people get together to have decadent parties and get on one another. I didn't think this actually existed, but I have been there, and I have seen it. The event was held on several floors of this club that was entirely too small for the hundreds of people there, and the music was ridiculously good.

The problem, however, was that the event was made to get people orgiastic and sloppy drunk in a very tightly packed venue. Right about the time I could feel my Caged Animal Syndrome getting worse, some guy passed out onto me. I caught him, picked him up and leaned him against a pillar on the dance floor while his friend giggled. "Are you okay?" I asked, only to be greeted with that glazed-over forty-yard stare I know from my Emergency Room days. "Your friend is messed up, you'd better get him some help." I tell the giggling scenester next to me. "Oh, he's fine" the guy says, as his friend slumps down against the wall. This goes on for several minutes, my checking on the passed-out-with-his-eyes-open guy and pleading with his stupidly grinning friend, who has taken to dancing with the guy's arm a la "Weekend at Bernie's."

I tell one of the event staff about it on my way out the door a few minutes later, and he sends a bouncer over as my company and I head for a diner. Granted, the music had been fantastic and a completely attractive stranger told me that we might be soul mates because she had a boy scout shirt like the one I was wearing back at her home, but I'm played out on that stupid-kids-who-can't-take-care-of-themselves scene. It wasn't fun in college with the frat kids, and it isn't fun now.