Goodbye, productivity!

Hello, PandaCam!

[hint: the camera is controlled by the zoo, so if you don't see our little pal Butterstick, wait a minute and they'll move the camera]

She said, "that neck brace makes you look fat."

I work in a giant medical complex. There are always patients and families mulling around, sometimes waiting anxiously, sometimes just sitting together and laughing or testing an uncomfortable silence. And every now and then I overhear really funny stuff.

I've been having a particularly time lately making sense of interpersonal relationships, whether romantic or otherwise, my own or my friends'. Right now it seems like hurting each other is an inevitable human behavior, and when we are hurt, we turn right around and take it out on someone else. So the cycle goes on, whether we are aware of our part in it or not. "We are all just big wounded responses," says Carol Churchill.

And occasionally we embrace it, rush headlong into taking someone down a few notches with zeal. The daughter was being brought, bandaged, through the lobby in a wheelchair by what looked like her brother and father. They stopped next to a woman who was seated, facing the other way. The daughter said, "hey, mom," weakly. The mother turned around, gasped, and opened her mouth to speak.

Why this woman is one of the greatest people I know

The name Lindsey Sherline is one most of you will recognize, and if not, it's really only a matter of time before you do. Although forced to share the title of most creative person ever with my father and my often-institutionalized friend Jim from high school, Lindsey creates through her work and her daily life a world that is uniquely stylized and entirely captivating. Anyone would be hard pressed not to want to live there.

Over the years and many changes they brought, she and I have had our good times and bad times. But as she unveils a new and very public project, I am happy to invite you to take a look (she would ask me to remind you that it is still a work in progress; the explanation is at the bottom of the page, so you might want to work backwards):

http://tu-tutimes.blogspot.com/

Who needs "pink is the new black" when "grossly incompetent and dangerously corrupt" is the new "re-elected?"

That's twice i've bet on the wrong horse. The horse of reason. The horse of getting your job back and being able to declare where you are from without making people cringe.

So first it was GWB back in the White House, and now Kwame's back for four more years as mayor of Detroit. My only consolation is that because his mismanagement thus far has earned poor Detroit a crippling 50 million dollar a month debt, he may not have a city to be mayor of for the full length of his term. According to the accountants, insolvency - or, as my grandfather predicts, good old fashioned bankruptcy - is just around the corner.

At least we've still got the Lions, right, guys?

Two short ones

a) I neglected to mention my having gone with the fabulous Ms. Pancakes to a WAAAYYYY too hip fundraiser. Our friend Alex works at Kid Robot, which organized the event, and it was both great to see her and the incredibly creative work people had put up for the charity auction (you can read more about it at the kid robot site). That someone I think is so great finds herself working at a place that really seems to fit with her style, and that charity results, makes me happy.

b) Last night I saw Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price. While yes, this is a documentary with a clearly stated bias, it does do a very good job of collecting the facts about Wal-Mart and the stories of the people affected by all levels of the corporation. If you haven't wised up to the evils of Wal-Mart yet, or if you're just interested in learning more, I strongly suggest you see this movie. [Is it out in theatres anywhere other than NYC? I'm not sure.]

Thank you, giant corporation. Oh, and I brought you a sandwich.

What happened to customer service? And what happened to Apple? My computer starts having problems, and Apple wants to charge me -upfront - $49.95 so that they can try to help me over the phone, although by their admission my problem may not even be something that can be fixed over the phone. Either way, $49.95. Thankfully, the guy on the phone mistakenly suggested that they wouldn't be able to help me, and I told them I'd figure it out myself. The Apple store here in NYC has a policy of taking reservations for tech support on the day of, but you need to go online early in the morning. I tell the apple store employee that I can't get online easily because my computer isn't working, which is, as i had already said, the reason I need the tech support. She tells me I can show up at the store to be seen as a walk-in at 6 a.m., but that I should probably show up around 5 because "a lot of people want to get help and can't get appoinments." When did Apple become Microsoft?

One brief discussion with a nerd at an electronics store later, I find out that Powerbook batteries tend to go bad after two or so years, and I needed to change mine.

Then our internet in the apt. goes out, and after making me wait several hours for the guy to show up, he tells me he can't fix it - why? who knows? - and I will have to schedule another appointment so another repair guy can try to fix the problem. My favorite was the repairman's astonishing announcement that "your internet doesn't work." Oh, really? Man, am I glad you're here.

I am so sick of the implicit corporate assumption that I have nothing better to do with my time and/or money. As I can't post about Japan or anything without going somewhere for internet, things will be slow on that front.

Perhaps the only consolation thus far today was the one pre-packaged "gourmet" sandwich in the hospital cafeteria that stood out from the rest - it lacked the usual printed label and was marked unceremoniously with a piece of tape, on which someone had written in magic marker the thoroughly baffling one-word description "EGGBEEF."

Mmmm....EGGBEEF.

Japan!

Don't call it a comeback. Call it: The Dr. Science Crazy Funtime World Adventure! Only the first day's worth is up, but I hope you like it!

No hallow left behind

Halloween is sort of the high holy day in my family. Normally, there'd be outrageous and extravagant decorations and our lawn (spilling over to the neighbor's), and hundreds of people would come from miles away to see our house. But this what not a normal year.

This year, had you traveled to our house, you would have found a simple, yet quietly ornate sign, explaining that "we, the pirates who gather here each year" were, in an act that recalls the courageous pirate captain Jean Laffite's aid in the battle of New Orleans in 1814, donating the money for decorations to Hurricane Relief in New Orleans.

Let me assure that for our family this was, indeed, a sacrifice. We still had a great Halloween time, though, dressing up as dead Gregorian monks and scaring people at a local Halloween haunted village. The folks there just assumed we were part of the show, I guess.

So it was a great Halloween, a lot of fun was had, I was once again reminded of just how much I have to learn from my parents, and we got the best Christmas card photo ever out of the deal.

gone 'til November

"Now and again, it is necessary to seclude yourself among deep mountains and hidden valleys to restore your link to the source of life."
-- Morihei Ueshiba, founder of Aikido, in "the Art of Peace"

To this end and others, I will be travelling to Japan next week for 14 days. I will see Nagoya, Tokyo, Kyoto, and hopefully a few other places. And I will be climbing the Japanese Alps for a few days. I will, of course, take many pictures and have much to say, but I'm not sure what my internet access will be like once I'm there. So I may post again soon, or it may be the end of October when next I get the chance. I hope you'll keep checking back. And now, as is my style, I will offer an incentive in the form of a picture of the hamburglar. It's an odd one this time.

Goin' to the Chapel...

Tomorrow morning I (accompanied by my dear friend Monica) will take the first of many flights to come in the following weeks. This one, though, has a certain sentimental weight to it. We will be headed to Montreal for my dear sister Patience's wedding, an event so sure to be outstanding that it had to be held off of U.S. soil. Far, far from civilization in the land of moose-riding beavers and french fries with gravy, inside a very fancy chateau in a tiny little town called Montreal, the Atkin family will welcome (indoctrinate) a new member to its motley ranks. Welcome, Brian Jamiriquai Lufthansa Jones...now how about helping to clean the garage?

You gots to be kidding me

Yeah I said "gots." And I went to college, too. And I've begun not one but two sentences with conjunctions. Why such a nightmarish approach to grammar? Because if we've learned anything today, kids, it's that if you know the right people, you don't have to know anything else, or even be qualified for the job. OH, you headed a corrupt lottery commission, AND you're Bush's pet lawyer? Hey, that's perfect.

Seriously, Harriet Miers? What, did Laura pass on the job? Andy Card too busy? Does no one rememberthe Ohio gang? Or that we used to have three branches of government?

If the Senate confirms Miers, I might have to start cheering for the other team...

Um...are you sure you're a doctor?

This sign (you can click on the pic to make it larger) was posted on the door of a nearby conference room at work. It hung there for about a week - notice there is no date on the sign - and was the absolute first thing I took a picture of with my new camera.

Ah,science. Wooing the ladies with questionable, handmade signs since last thursday.

Oh, SNAP!

I was tentatively thinking of titling this post "Bobby Digital," and then reflected on the fact that nobody does or should get RZA jokes. That being said I bought a digital camera for my trip. I went to B and H, which is the largest camera store in the world and was certainly a sight to behold. Oddly, it is staffed almost entirely by orthodox jews and also the whole store is connected by conveyor belts. The staff guy I talked to was SUPER helpful, so I guess he earned this cheap plug I'm presently putting in. Go to B and H!

Con(cert)ey Island

Last night yours truly could be found in Keyspan Park, home of minor-league baseball team the Coney Island Cyclones. Oh, and the Shins and the White Stripes were there, too.

I was treated to a fabulous concert as I stood in center field; a stage was constructed in the outfield, and was open in the back to let in the night sky and the breeze coming off the Ocean.

The first band, M. W. something, was terrible. The Shins, however, were solid and terrific. They performed a lot of their hits, but, truth be told, were so very much themselves as they are on their albums that it doesn't really make sense to see them live. It's exactly like listening to their music on mp3.

The same could not at all be said for the White Stripes, however. The difference between the music of their albums and the music of their live show last night in Coney Island is like the difference between seeing a tiger in a zoo and seeing a tiger devouring a gazelle in the wild. Jack White is a maniac, a Robert-Johnson-esque guitar devil who must be seen to be believed. He flew from instrument to instrument and from song to song, stopping only to take polaroids of himself and Meg (which he then threw out to the audience) and to make a few suitably bizarre comments like "This morning Meg had breakfast with Dennis Hopper. (pause) No, that's not true."

Speaking of Meg, she is far more impressive a musician than anybody gives her credit for. With a very proper air about her, she's able to keep up with and adjust to Jack's almost feral perfomance. When Jack broke a string for the second time, he merely tossed aside the guitar he was playing and picked up another and started playing a totally different song, then, when his roadie has fixed the string, Jack took up his now fixed guitar and continued the first song where he'd left off. This was done without pause, and Meg never missed a beat, despite there passing no apparent cues between each other.

Even the songs from their newest album that I don't like sounded incredible last night, to the point where I was made to think "oh, that's what that's supposed to sound like." Score another one for the Detroit music scene...

Oh, hey, that's just great.

For months - months! - I have been laboring over this problem at work. I have two mice, each with a different genotype. PCR done by my coworkers shows one mouse has a transgene, the other does not. However, I keep getting results over and over again that say that both these mice have the transgene. So either the tests I'm doing are wrong, or something's going on with these mice. I assumed it was my tests that were failing somehow, and I felt stupid and like a really bad scientist.

Today I learned that the both mice have the transgene, and that our PCR method of genotyping gives false positive results. So, there's no way I could have gotten the results I was hoping for. It is these sorts of time-wasting experiences I sincerely hope will not find their way to the forefront of my mind as I lay on my deathbed...

Regarding my boy Kanye, Paul Krugman, and President George W(hitey) Bush

Now that I have found a way around paying for the NYTimes' stupid "Times select" program for Op-Ed content, I tremendously enjoyed reading Paul Krugman's new column about the effects of race on the response to Katrina.

Personally, though, as happy as I was that Kanye said what he did when he did, I think he may have been dangerously oversimplifying the matter. George Bush doesn't care about black people, but his record would seem to show that he doesn't really care about anyone other than his big rich corporate friends. Why else would he offer FEMA and HUD positions as favors to friends, rather than qualified professionals? Those are vitally important gov't agencies, who primarily serve the people who need federal assistance (i.e. those other than rich white men). This gets me back to the problem, though, which is that if the public gets fixated on this notion of its being largely an issue of race that slowed the Katrina reponse, we won't fixate on all the factors that led to a slow Katrina response. Thoughts?

Der Kommissar IS in town. I know, I partied with him last night.

My first clue was running into my debutante socialite friend there. You know, the one who knows all the fancy New York people and introduced me to the correspondent from Al Jazeera. By the end of the night, I figured I might just be in the running for 2nd Fanciest American; you know, silver to ole' Jimbo's gold standard. Why so fancy? Well.....

Last night I attended a special invitation-only soiree at the Guggenheim, held to celebrate the opening of an exhibit of never-before-seen-outside-of-Russia collections. There were performances by musicians and dancers, as well as free drinks (including some kind of vodka that's apprently not even on the market yet. How very.). As for the art, some of it was incredible. The icons - which I came to learn made up the most expensive part of the collections and were from as far back as the late 12th century - were breathtaking. Some pieces of the later work - in particular this mixed-media sculpture piece of a man on a train - were fantastic. Some others, not so much.

I like dressing up, I like art, and I like weird parties. Check, check, and check.

This is amazing

This clip right here shows MSNBC newsman Olbermann saying what needs to be said. You should really check it out!

Now and for the rest of my life...

...I'm on hold. A stupid jerk at the medical center broke an instrument I need to use, then went on vacation, and now the stupid jerks at tech support have me on hold. The real problem, though, is the hold music. A terrible sax solo "da dum dee doo dweeee!" plays, and then a message interrupts to tell me my call will be answered in the order it was received. Through some cruel glitch, this message re-starts the hold song. "Da dum dee doo dwee!" over and over again for the past 20 minutes.

SOMEONE MUST PAY.

Brooklyn, number one!

The largest parade in North America is held a few blocks from where I live. I went last year, and darned if I was going to miss it this year. The West Indian Cultural Festival Carnival Parade is a gigantic costumed extravaganza that stretches on for as far as the eye can see. Giant flatbed trucks covered with speakers blast dancehall reggae music while ornately-decorated performers dance their way along. It is nothing short of incredible. Of course the streets are packed with spectators, but everyone seemed really well-behaved, the food smelled terrific and the pageantry was unmatched. I have it from a reliable source that this event is a major one in the world of competetive carnival dancers, and contests are held in Trinidad, Jamaica, and elsewhere just for the right to come to Brooklyn to show their stuff. DO NOT miss this event next year if at all possible!